10: "Set Apart This Dream" by: Flyleaf
Hard rock has not always been a favourite of mine. As a child and young teenager I was truly into the folk, hip-hop, pop side of CCM. That is until I met my best friend at the time... She and I were radio show hosts, together in our podcast called Jesus Freaks... Our first episode was the introduction to Flyleaf. "Cassie" played on our playlist and I was introduced to the world of metal and hard rock. My best friend wasn't the only one to introduce me to my now, favourite music genre. But other close friends were influencing my style of music as well. However, it was my best friend who showed me Flyleaf...
I have listened to all of the Flyleaf albums, intensely. And after years of that, I have connected to this song. Suicide and depression and conflict is my day to day existence and I found my comfort in this song. It has given me hope and helped me to believe in the supernatural and the afterlife of Heaven. As I've said before, the spirit of conflict lingers in my home. Some of it, admittedly is my own fault, but some not so much. Shame is a two-sided blade here. Guilt for what I had done and even guilt that was unrighteously shoved on me. This line was my help in that; "You build your castles in the skies; Stars reflecting off your eyes, And angels sing on silver clouds, And no one cries screams or shouts"
Suicide and depression have pressured me all my life. I have OD'd, considered hanging, and even self-harmed many years of my life. But to know there is hope even for me and that I'm not beyond repair is amazing. And if I just overcome this pain there will be a prize worth more than any gold... "Close your eyes pretty girl; Cause it's easier when you brace yourself. Set your thoughts on a world far off; Where we only cry from joy! Oh set apart this dream; Set apart this dream for me. Oh lovely and beautiful; Precious and priceless. You're so much more than you know. Heart of the purest gold. Pure clean and white snow. Clothed in such splendor. Oh, what a beauty for me."
9: "Still Breathing" by Veridia
I was introduced by iTunes suggestions to this band, I believe. It was an instant fave for me. And I truly wish they put out more. The music, at least for me is upbeat, convicting, and therapeutic. The beats and tunes are like a war song and anthem for the discouraged and is very profound. The lyrics of their music has inspired many of my poems and stories. My favourite songs by them were "Disconnected", "Mechanical Planet", "Pretty Lies", "At the End of the World", "Cheshire Smile", "I Won't Stay Down", "Reckless", and "Still Breathing". If you like Alternative, Electronic, and Pop-styled rock, this is a very unique band which I would definitely suggest.
This particular song was encouraging to me because when I was depressed, it was one of the most comforting songs through my stress. I ended up being able to express my true emotions just by quoting these lyrics or sharing the song itself. The beauty of this song is it speaks to, encourages, and even strengthens the will of many struggling with suicidal thoughts. I've found that my mental health and mood has vastly improved while listening to its lyrics saying, "I'm still breathing Blood is burning in my veins I wanna feel the pain You're still healing Every moment, every day Is a gift you gave I can't believe I'm still breathing Turn the light off Let the monsters come I'm not gonna be afraid Cause I know that I'm not alone I've got giants on my side"
8: "Jee Veerey" by: Bloodywood
I found this song while scrolling through Facebook one day. It's the only song by them that I'm really interested in, but it doesn't make the lyrics any less beautiful. The music has combined my favourite instrument of all time, an instrument that I, myself play-- the Scottish Tin Whistle (aka penny whistle), along with one of my favourite genres, metal, along with the message behind the music being my life's goal to spread: "Jee Veerey" means "live, brave one". Suicide may sound like the only route, but I truly believe there is hope even in the darkest of times.
"Walk this valley of death, head high. Say I'll be back, today I won't die. 'Cause try as we may, we can never deny; We can get back up if we're still alive. [Only after enduring the tests of fire, iron is forged. Live, brave one, fight those internal storms and; Win, brave one, weather those wounds and rise once again; fly once again for too long you've lay in darkness]"
Out of the many songs I've listened to covered by this band, this one stood out the most. An original by them, they truly covered a deep and difficult topic and made it beautiful at the same time. Many think musically they had a lot of room to improve, but I believe they did it immaculately. I feel that they should truly make more music like this and maybe they will one day, but right now, I think they did a wonderful job with what they had...
7: "Breaking Free" by: Skillet
Skillet was one of my first introductions to Christian hard rock. A truly passionate and deep band that has always spoken to me in my darkest times. I forget who exactly introduced me to their music, however it may have been a mix of my bestie, Savvy and my close friend, Mandie. For many years, this band has written lyrics and tuns that I've always connected to. "Rebirthing", "The Last Night", "Falling Inside the Black", "Whispers in the Dark", "Open Wounds", "Saviour", "Forsaken", "Hero", "Monster", "Forgiven", "Never Surrender", "Dead Inside", "Would it Matter?", "Rise", "Circus For a Psycho", "American Noise", "Salvation", "Freakshow", "I Want to Live", "Stars", "The Resistance" and "Out of Hell" are only a few of my many favourites by this amazing band.
And like many of their beautiful music, "Breaking Free" truly was inspiring and encouraging to my soul. Freedom from darkness or perhaps abuse is a focal point of the lyrics. Whatever the message it still has to do with freedom. When I listen to it, it makes me feel stronger, more courageous and able to break free from any chain through Jesus Christ. Whether the chain be abuse, depression, fear, opinions, or whatever; it shines the light of hope into that darkness... "I will break, breaking free, coming alive. I broke these chains, never be afraid; Never be afraid to live my life. Break, breaking free on last time. No matter what they say I will never change And I know I can break. Break; I will break! I will break! Look, out I'm breaking free. Breaking, breaking; This is freedom; this is freedom. I am breaking free!"
6: "Secret Weapon" by: Disciple
Same as Skillet, Disciple was yet another one of my first introductions to my love for hard rock. Their war-march-styled rock brought courage to my life and helped me through my most fearful moments. My favourite albums being Attack, Horseshoes & Handgrenades, Long Live the Rebels, O God Save Us All, Scars Remain, and Vultures. I always enjoyed listening to it to inspire my writings and character biographies, and help me build my world. Not only this, but also to help build my own self through the lessons and verses they sang in their songs.
"Secret Weapon" was no different. The lyrics in the song spoke on what my faith truly means to me. The message within it was perseverance through persecution for our faith. "Break me down and bury my face I'm a time-bomb ready to detonate Leave me in ashes I'll rise up in flames You can knock me out Destroy my name But my power it comes from a higher place And my weaknesses just make me stronger My weaknesses will make me stronger"
5: "Foreigner" by: Ledger
It was quite easy to find LEDGER as she is the drummer for Skillet. She started her own project and it was a beautiful combination of electronic, rock and pop. Quite refreshing after all the hard rock I've listened to. Her style, at least to me, was unique and beautiful and as there hasn't been much made, my favourite songs are few... "Warrior", "Foreigner", "Not Dead Yet", and "Bold". Listening to these songs was therapeutic, and calming.
"Foreigner" was my top favourite. The lyrics being a sober tune with childhood rhymes mixed in was a creative way of writing the verse in my opinion. I especially enjoyed the lyrics: "Τhe feast is set before me Αnd the plates are platinum Βut all I taste is ashes and my lips are turning numb Τhe smiles in the beauty and the promises Ι see Glοry, hallelujah never said it came fοr free Ring arοund the roses Ι see through yοur poses Αshes tο ashes Ιt all comes falling dοwn Ι thought I would belong right here When Ι was younger Βut there's something in the atmοsphere Whispers οf wοnder"
4: "Lifeline" by: Thousand Foot Krutch
Another band that influenced my love for Christian hard and alternative rock was Thousand Foot Krutch. For a long time it was tied in first place with Skillet, before I was introduced to Memphis May Fire and Wolves at the Gate. It is truly impossible to list the many songs I've enjoyed most so I might as well list by albums because they are one of those bands where I love all the songs in each of their albums. The End is Where We Begin, Oxygen; Inhale, Exhale, The Flame in All of Us, Metamorphosiz: The End Remixes Vol. 1 & 2, and Welcome to the Masquerade albums have always been a favourite and every year they make another album it is better than the one before...
And like many of their songs, "Lifeline" truly helped me cope with my anger, depression and anxiety. It's helped me to acknowledge that I don't have to be perfect or to fake my way and it's okay to express weakness. It gave me the opportunity to be honest about where I was emotionally, in which I have had struggled to be for a very long time. Having that chance to sing it out and express that yes; "When I get angry, I feel weak; And hear these voices in my head; Telling me to fall beneath. 'Cause they'll make everything okay. How did I get here? Everything's unclear. I never meant to cause you pain. Give me a reason I can believe in. I need it all this time. Send me a lifeline" Because it is truly okay to ask for help. It's okay to show weakness. It's okay to struggle.
3: "Virus" by: Memphis May Fire
Where do I begin? Memphis May Fire truly, truly struck close to home and I love their music mainly because I don't feel so alone when I listen their songs like "Beneath the Skin", "Sleepless Nights", "That's Just Life", "Live it Well", "Letting Go", "Live Another Day", "Heavy is the Weight." I truly enjoyed the melodic metalcore style of their music but most of all, I loved his passion and convicting lyrics that encouraged you to seek Christ and to remain alive even throughout suicidal thoughts.
"Virus" was very nearly the same and came across as the emotions that came with toxic relationships. It helped me specifically when I had to cut off or cope with the emotions after cutting off a toxic relationship. It was rough but it put words in my own mouth and that was something important to me... "Virus! Your make me question if I want it to exist You were the venom in my veins But now I see the truth The enemy was you That time will come but not today Because I know When I fight I remember why I'm still alive I'm holding onto what is left inside Cause you're just a virus and I didn't come here to die."
2: "Kick the Habit" by: Eleventyseven
I started listening to Eleventyseven when my close friend, Mandie introduced me to it. Eleventyseven started their band in my home county. Their music always inspired me. "Appalachian Wine", "Give it up", "Divers in a Hurricane", "And I'm a Mormon", "Book of Secrets" "Trying" and " Like You Rock" are only a few favourite songs by them. After a while they stopped putting out albums while the head singer formed a new project The Jellyrox. He put out "Embellish EP", "Heta Himlen", and "Bang & Whimper" and we didn't get anything from Elventyseven until... 2017. This song was one of the first I heard on the album. And it was instantly my favourite song. As is well known about me, I am a recovery warrior. This song is like telling the story of recovery, which is why I so love this song.
"I should know by now when I'm kicking the habit; The habit kicks back" this line has reminded me to not be so hard on myself when quitting an addiction. It's hard to kick a habit as it is. When you fight, it'll return a punch. That's why when letting go of things like that, you have to be forgiving of yourself when you fail. Because it is simply a lesson to what doesn't work, and all we have to do is aim for it again. I know it can be discouraging when the addiction kicks back, but my advice to everyone-- including myself-- is to remember that you may have been knocked down, but you're not out... Take this time to strike another blow. Which is the message I heard in the song, I dunno, maybe I read too much into it, but that's alright.
1: "Grave Digger" by: Wolves at the Gates
Many years ago, my friend Mandie, introduced me to the wonderful world of Metalcore. By giving me the song, "Safeguards" by Wolves at the Gate. For many years, the lovely melodic intensity of their particularly unique style in metalcore made Wolves at the Gate one of my new top two favourite bands. And that hasn't changed in these past 5 years. Their eccentric and uplifting sound and message still resonates in the songs. And I will always enjoy that. My favourites by them through the years are "Safeguards", "Slaves", "Man of Sorrows", "The Bird and the Snake", "The Father's Bargain", "Oh the Depths", "Lowly", and finally the song, above, "Grave Digger"
"And a haunting voice demands and craves (That in its depths a body lays) I feel its cry inside my soul (That I could never fill this hole) My work and toil leave only room (For coffins, graves, and deathly tombs)" I find this line one of the most moving lyrics I have ever heard. The depth of it and honesty is very heartfelt. When I first listened to it, I was stirred to the core. I knew how it felt because I've felt it in my recovery, I felt it in my faith. But in the end of the song, after all those earth-shaking verses, they added hope in it ; "How wondrous the sight that had caused these eyes to weep All of my death and hell You would bear and reap Though all that I made was a terrible cold grave In death there You laid, for You took my place to save my soul"
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